Look through our best funny Valentines day quotes and feel free to use them to cheer up your valentine. On this page you will find not only funny quotes about Valentine’s day, but also greetings and wishes that you may use to greet your girlfriend or boyfriend with the February 14th.
Funny Valentines day quotes
Love is being stupid together. – Paul Valery
If you feel sad that you stay alone during Valentine‘s day, just remember that nobody loves you on any of those other 355 days of the year.
To comfort your sister if she’s alone during Valentine’s day, you may say: 80 percent of my socks are single but I have never seen them crying because of that.
My boyfriend told me I can do with him whatever I want on Valentine’s Day, so I tied him up and went to the nightclub.
“Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.” – Cathy Carlyle
“Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.” – Rose Franken
For love for you I would even do the thing Meat Loaf wouldn’t do.
I hope you can finish better this Valentine’s Day than the Seattle Seahawks this year.
“What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.” – Pearl Bailey
“Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely.” – M*A*S*H, Hawkeye
“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.” – Henry Kissinger
I trust you plan more for Valentine’s Day than Russia prepared for the Olympics.
“I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.” – Author Unknown
I hope you noticed that not only the Sochi Olympics opening ceremony was missing a ring.
“Like I’ve always said, love wouldn’t be blind if the braille weren’t so damned much fun.” – Armistead Maupin,
“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” – Author Unknown
Valentine’s Day is for couples. All singles can enjoy themselves for rest of 364 days of the year.
If you‘re alone during Valentine’s day, it is priceless for you. Otherwise you would spend a few hundred dollars.
Today is February 14th – St. Valentine’s day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as extortion day.
“Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then a thousand more.” – Catullus
Please remember that Valentine’s Day is a polite reminder that Christmas decorations must go down!
It would be great if Valentine’s Day came with a fast-forward button.
“Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.” – Jonathon Swift
“Love is a game that two can play and both win.” – Eva Gabor
Happy Valentine’s Day to all the couples, wish your love last forever and to all single people wish your batteries last forever…
I wish my Valentine won’t run on batteries.
“Love – a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.” – Author Unknown
“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” – Erich Segal
“Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.” – Judith Viorst, Redbook, 1975
“I love you like crazy, baby ‘Cuz I’d go crazy without you.” – Pixie Foudre
Love doesn’t have a price tag on it, but all its accessories has.
“Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, – but not for love.” – William Shakespeare
“Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.” – Author Unknown
“Falling in love is so hard on the knees.” – Aerosmith
“Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart.” – Author Unknown
Funny Valentines day greetings and wishes
I do not need a photograph to remember you, because you are always on my mind.
I would love you even if you were so ugly that everyone died.
Congratulations! You are my first repetitive Valentine.
You would be perfect (if only you lost 20 pounds)
Darling, it’s already too late to break up with me before Valentine’s Day.
I need to fell in love, because I haven’t had any problems for a long time. Happy February 14th!
I suspect you was cheating, your gift for me was too amazing.
I want to say thank you for the flowers I’m going to send to myself and pretend are from you.
You’ve to kiss a lot of frogs, before you find your prince on the horse.
A real confession: You mean so much more to me than my new iPhone!
I wish you would be my emergency contact person one day.
I’m celebrating no need to celebrate Valentine’s Day.
You should leave office earlier today so your colleagues will think you have some romantic plans for Valentine’s Day.
Funny Valentines Day Sayings, Phrases and Rhymes
Valentine’s Sayings which involve Humor and Lies
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe ‘Go To Hell’.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not.
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don’t take that paper bag off of your face.
We hope you enjoyed these funny Valentines day quotes. at least some of them made you laugh or smile – that’s already a good thing to know. if you want more enjoy, check out valentines day quotes on this link. have a beautiful valentines day. Happy Valentine’s day!